The Harry Potter Songbook
by ANGELofMUSICval
Summary: So, my friend and I were goofing around one night and decided to rewrite a Broadway song to Harry Potter lyrics. It started a trend and here's my collection. Broadway songs Harry Potter style.
1. Chapter 1: Do You Have A Wand?

**Disclaimer**: I don't own RENT or the Harry Potter characters. They belong to Jonathan Larson and J.K. Rowling, respectively. I'm just borrowing them for some fun. Homage to their greatness.

**Author's Notes**: After goofing off in a chat room, my friend Sandi Lang and I decided to rewrite "Light My Candle" from RENT with our two Harry Potter characters, James Potter and Lily Evans (that we role-play on our Myspace group Marauders Time Period RPG). This is what we came up with. (Lilyme, JamesSandi)

**Do you have a wand?**

_Setting_:

_Remus just left the common room when Lily walks in and bumps into a side table._

JAMES

What you forget?

LILY

Got a wand?

JAMES

I know you: you're that Muggle witch.

LILY

So what?

I'm here

And I'm the best in my year

Do you have a wand?

What are you staring at?

JAMES

Nothing, your eyes in the firelight. You look familiar. What are you studying?

LILY

Potions, Herbology, Divination

Care of Magical Creatures and Transfiguration

Anyway. What?

JAMES

Nothing, you're eyes reminded me of...

LILY

They always remind people of -- who is it?

JAMES

My mom: her name is April.

LILY

Where's the wand?

That's cool about your mom.

Do you have a wand?

JAMES

Well?

LILY

Yeah... What?

JAMES

Oh, the vase it's...

LILY

Tipping! Catch it before...

JAMES

...it falls. I got it.

Oh well, good night

Did it fall again?

LILY

No, I think I dropped my ring...

JAMES

I know I've seen you out and about

Around the castle grounds.

The fire's gone out.

LILY

I'm wiggin' --

I had it when I walked in the door.

A family heirloom--

Is it on the floor?

JAMES

The floor?

LILY

They say I have the best ass here at Hogwarts.

Is it true?

JAMES

Huh?

LILY

You're staring again.

JAMES

I mean you do... have a nice...

I mean... your eyes are familiar...

LILY

Like the ones your mom has.

JAMES

Only in the firelight, but I'm sure I've seen you some where else.

LILY

You've probably seen me in the library.

That's where I hang out and study-- help me look.

JAMES

Yes! You're always by yourself!

LILY

I'm a loner.

JAMES

I didn't recognize you without your books.

LILY

We could get a wand.

Oh, what'd you do with the wand?

JAMES

Why don't you give up looking? It's so small you'll never find it.

LILY

I have to--'cause it's part of my family.

They're gonna kill me.

JAMES

They won't really kill you will they? I'll help you look for it.

LILY

I have to find it--I told you

JAMES

I hate losing things.

LILY

Yeah, me too.

JAMES

Uh huh, I used to do it all the time.

LILY

But I can never keep track...

JAMES

Uh huh.

LILY

...of anything.

JAMES

Oh here it - um...

LILY

What's that?

JAMES

Oh, a little rock of some type.

LILY

We could find the wand.

What'd you do with my wand?

JAMES

That was the last place it could be.

LILY

I'll look under the couch, thank God for the sun.

JAMES

Maybe it's not the sun at all.

I hear that the house elves are cleaning the castle.

LILY

Somehow...Don't think so...

JAMES

Cold hands.

LILY

Yours too.

Big. Like my father's

You wanna dance?

JAMES

With you?

LILY

No -- with my father.

JAMES

I'm Potter, James Potter

LILY

They call me,

They call me Lily


	2. Chapter 2: The Dark Lord

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Phantom of the Opera or the Harry Potter characters. They belong to Andrew Lloyd Webber and J.K. Rowling, respectively. I'm just borrowing them for some fun. Homage to their greatness.

**Author's Notes**: So, after the fun of the first night of writing, I felt inspired, so... I got this crazy idea to combine Phantom of the Opera with Harry Potter as well and do a rewrite of "Phantom of the Opera" with Ginny and Voldemort. And I came up with this.

**The Dark Lord**

_Setting: _

_During the Chamber of Secrets_

GINNY

At night he sang to me

In dreams he came

A voice which whispered

And called my name

How can I sleep again?

For now I find

The Dark Lord Voldemort is there,

Inside my mind

VOLDEMORT

What strange magic we weave

Our tangled net

My power over you

Grows stronger yet

And though you turn from me

To clear your mind

The Dark Lord Voldemort is there,

Inside your mind

GINNY

All those who hear your name

Shudder in terror

Your name strikes fear in hearts

VOLDEMORT

Which gives me great pleasure

BOTH

Of your/my great power now

We need not remind

The Dark Lord Voldemort is there,

Inside your/my mind

CHORUS

Is that the Dark Lord Voldemort?

Beware the Dark Lord Voldemort

VOLDEMORT

Deep down in your heart

You always knew

Pure evil and cruelty

GINNY

Were both in you

BOTH

And in this Chamber here

Innocence is blind

The Dark Lord Voldemort is there/here

GINNY

Inside my mind

VOLDEMORT

To me, my precious young thing!

GINNY

He's there,

The Dark Lord Voldemort...


	3. Chapter 3: Lily

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Grease or the Harry Potter characters. They belong to J.K. Rowling and the people that made Grease. I'm just borrowing them for some fun. Homage to their greatness.

**Author's Notes**: Again, more inspiration. Parody of "Sandy" from Grease with James singing about Lily.

**Lily**

_Setting: _

_James and Lily had a fight._

Stranded in Hogsmeade, left without a broom,

What will they say

In the Common Room?

Lily, can't you see, I'm left unhappy.

I love your hair, the way you care.

You're the only one for me.

Now I'm here, all alone.

I ask myself why-y-y oh, why, you left me, oh

Lily

Oh, Lily, maybe someday, when Hogwarts is done.

Somehow, if Merlin grants, our two worlds will be one

Without you, in Potions forever there I'd stay

Oh, please, don't go away, oh

Lily, Lily, my sweetheart, I really messed up.

You know that's the truth.

But Lily, you need to believe me when I tell you,

I never meant to hurt you.

Sitting here, all alone, I think, and ponder why-y-y oh why you

Left me, oh Lily, Lily

Lily, why-y-y-y

Oh, Lily


	4. Chapter 4: Harry

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Beuaty and the Beast or the Harry Potter characters. They belong to Disney, Howard Ashman, Tim Rice, J.K. Rowling, etc. I'm just borrowing them for some fun. Homage to their greatness.

**Author's Notes**: This time, something from Harry's point of view. "Belle" from Beauty and the Beast becomes this…

**Harry**

_Setting: _

_People's reactions to Harry..._

HARRY

Look around

At Diagon Alley

Everywhere

Something more to see

Look around

At all of the people

Whispering at me…

WITCHES AND WIZARDS

Hello!

Wotcher!

Good day! All right then! Hi!

HARRY

Now over here we have Eeyelops Owl Emporium

Owls of all shapes and size to sell

Little tawny or large snowy

Too many here, really

Whatever you could want

STOREOWNER

Hullo, there, Harry!

HARRY

Hullo there, sir

STOREOWNER

And where are you off to, today?

HARRY

The broomshop. I just finished the greatest practice

And I need some supplies and a–

STOREOWNER

That's great. Really busy. See you later!

Have to run!

WITCHES AND WIZARDS

Look there he goes that kid is charmed, I tell you

However did he escape The Dark Lord?

WITCH

Always stands out from the crowd

WIZARD

Cause everyone feels so wowed

WITCHES AND WIZARDS:

No denying he's the Chosen One, he is

WIZARD 1

Hullo!

WITCH 1

Good day!

WIZARD 1

Have you been to Ollivanders?

WITCH 2

Wotcher!

WIZARD 2

Good afternoon!

WITCH 2

How about that Lockhart?

WITCH 3:

I need gillyweed!

WITCH 4:

That's too expensive!

HARRY

There must be more than being in the limelight!

QUIDDITCH SUPPLIES SELLER

Ah, Harry.

HARRY

Good morning, sir. I've come to gather some more broom fixing kits.

QUIDDITCH SUPPLIES SELLER

More already?

HARRY

Oh, we seemed to have a bit of an accident. Have you got anything new?

QUIDDITCH SUPPLIES SELLER

Not since yesterday.

HARRY

That's all right. I'll buy . . . this one!

QUIDDITCH SUPPLIES SELLER

But you just bought some of those!

HARRY

Well, it's the best!

Plus my team needs something to fix their brooms, so…

QUIDDITCH SUPPLIES SELLER

If you like it all that much, it's yours!

HARRY

But sir!

QUIDDITCH SUPPLIES SELLER

I insist.

HARRY

Thank you. Thank you very much!

WITCHES AND WIZARDS

Look there he goes, it's Mr. Harry Potter

I hope he's studying hard

He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named

Is doomed to rise again

Young Harry is the one to save us all

HARRY

Oh, isn't this amazing?

The Firebolt's fantastic, just wait, you'll see

Superior World-class broom that can't be topped

I just saw these used in the Quidditch World Cup!

WITCH

Now it's no wonder that people can't stop staring

That scar is always recognizable

WIZARD

But behind that innocent facade

He's got the heart of a champion

WITCH

Very diff'rent from the rest of us

WITCHES AND WIZARDS:

He's so different from all of us

Yes, unique from all of us he is!

GOYLE

Gee, Draco! Wow! You're pretty smooth, Draco!

You're the best wizard in the entire community!

MALFOY

I know.

CRABBE

No Mudblood can compete with you ---

And no girl, for that matter.

MALFOY

It's true, Crabbe. You and

Goyle really should learn from me.

GOYLE

What about Harry Potter?

MALFOY

Potter? He'll be lucky to pass his next year of Potions.

GOYLE

But he's –

MALFOY

The most recognized freak in town?

CRABBE

I know, but –

MALFOY

No, he's not The Chosen One.

He'll never beat The Dark Lord.

GOYLE

Of course he won't!

MALFOY

Right from the moment when I met him, saw him

I saw how much I hated him.

It's always about that scar.

Just what makes him so special?

So I'm making plans to get rid of Potter.

SLYTHERIN GIRLS

Look there he goes

Isn't he dreamy?

Draco Malfoy

Isn't he cute!

He captured my heart

It's too intense!

He's just so tall, blond and handsome!

WITCH 1

Good day!

MALFOY

Hello.

HARRY

Hullo

WITCH 2

Oh, my!

WITCH 3

You call this dragon's blood?

WITCH 4

What terrific chocolate!

WIZARD 1

Some potions

WITCH 5

Gringotts?

WIZARD 1

I need ingredients

MALFOY

'scuse me!

POTIONS MERCHANT

We can help you

MALFOY

Get out of my way!

WITCH 6

This broom –

WITCH 7

Those wands –

WITCH 6

Doesn't fly!

WITCH 7

Are tricky!

WIZARDS

Must be mistaken.

WITCHES

Well, maybe but

WITCHES AND WIZARDS

Good afternoon! Oh, good day to you!

HARRY

There must be more to being the chosen one!

MALFOY

Just watch, I'm going to ruin Harry's life!

WITCHES AND WIZARDS

Look there he goes

That boy is strange but special

Something unique about his scar!

WITCHES

It's sad enough to see

WIZARDS

Around him everyone is wary

WITCHES AND WIZARDS

'Cause he really is a strange one

The chosen one but unique one

He really is different

Harry Potter!


	5. Chapter 5: One Prank Glory

**Disclaimer**: I don't own RENT or the Harry Potter characters. They belong to Jonathan Larson and J.K. Rowling, respectively. I'm just borrowing them for some fun. Homage to their greatness.

**Author's Notes**: More inspiration. After reading Order of the Phoenix, I got the idea to rewrite "One Song Glory" from RENT from Fred and George's POV.

**One Prank Glory**

_Setting_:

_Fred and George are plotting to leave their legacy at Hogwarts and get revenge on Prof. Umbridge. _

One prank

Glory

One prank

Before we go

Glory

One prank to leave behind

Find one prank

One last escapade

Glory

From the twin troublemakers

Who never wasted an opportunity

One prank

We have Hogwarts at our feet

Glory

In the eyes of a young wizard

A young witch

Find glory

Beyond the practical magic

One prank

Before we graduate

Glory – and leave behind this life

Ideas breathe -- ideas live

Glory -- One blaze of glory

One blaze of glory -- glory

Find

Glory

In the greatest prank ever

Our legacy forever

Our eternal mark

Find

One prank

The greatest piece of magic

Glory

From the minds of two young men

Brilliant wizards

Find

The one prank

Before Umbridge kicks us out

Glory

That old bat

One prank

To give example of our lives

Ideas fly

And then – it's time to execute the plan

The time is now


	6. Chapter 6: Azkaban Tango

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Chicago or the Harry Potter characters or the lyrics. They belong to J.K. Rowling and the people that made Chicago. I'm just borrowing them for some fun. Homage to their greatness. No copyright infringement intended.

**Author's Notes**: This is my take on the prisoners in Azkaban singing about their exploits (to the tune of "Cell Block Tango"). (Italics denote background singing.) This was the most difficult one to write by far. I did my best with it, so hope you all like it. I originally wasn't going to write it, because it seemed too big of a challenge. After I got the request, I figured "why not". So here it is. Thanks to fixitman for the request.

**  
Azkaban Tango**

LUCIUS MALFOY:

Saintly.

RODOLPHUS LESTRANGE:

Insane.

WALDEN MCNAIR:

Thud.

IGOR KARKAROFF:

Uh-Oh.

BELLATRIX LESTRANGE:

Devotion.

NARCISSA MALFOY:

Pure-blood!

LUCIUS:

Saintly.

RODOLPHUS:

Insane.

MCNAIR:

Thud.

KARKAROFF:

Uh-Oh.

BELLATRIX:

Devotion.

NARCISSA:

Pure-blood!

LUCIUS:

Saintly.

RODOLPHUS:

Insane.

MCNAIR:

Thud.

KARKAROFF:

Uh-Oh.

BELLATRIX:

Devotion.

NARCISSA:

Pure-blood!

LUCIUS:

Saintly.

RODOLPHUS:

Insane.

MCNAIR:

Thud.

KARKAROFF:

Uh-Oh.

BELLATRIX:

Devotion.

NARCISSA:

Pure-blood!

ALL:

They had it coming

They had it coming

They only had themselves to blame.

They're against The Dark Lord

You can't resist him

BELLATRIX:

I betcha you would have done the same!

LUCIUS:

Saintly.

RODOLPHUS:

Insane.

MCNAIR:

Thud.

KARKAROFF:

Uh-Oh.

BELLATRIX:

Devotion.

NARCISSA:

Pure-blood!

LUCIUS:

Saintly.

RODOLPHUS:

Insane.

MCNAIR:

Thud.

KARKAROFF:

Uh-Oh.

BELLATRIX:

Devotion.

NARCISSA:

Pure-blood!

ALL:

They had it coming

They had it coming

They only had themselves to blame.

They're against The Dark Lord

You can't resist him

BELLATRIX:

I betcha you would have done the same!

LUCIUS:

Saintly.

RODOLPHUS:

Insane.

MCNAIR:

Thud.

KARKAROFF:

Uh-Oh.

BELLATRIX:

Devotion.

NARCISSA:

Pure-blood!

LUCIUS:_PRISONERS_:

You know how these _They had it coming_

people that follow Dumbledore _They had it coming_

get you down. Dumbledore. _They only had themselves to blame._

The perfect Dumbledore.

No, not perfect. Saintly. _They're against The Dark Lord_

Always day in and day out. _You can't resist him_

It's definitely irritating. _I betcha you would_

Never any sympathy for _Have done the same!_

Our plight with The Dark Lord. _They had it coming_

Albus Dumbledore. Always _They had it coming_

perfect. No, not perfect. _They only had themselves to blame._

Saintly. So, I say to him. I _They're against The Dark Lord_

say, "Dumbledore, your days _You can't resist him_

are limited..." _I betcha you would_

Now he's dead! _Have done the same!_

LUCIUS:

So I believe that Voldemort is

and he forever will be...

...ruler of all.

ALL:

They had it coming

They had it coming

They only had themselves to blame.

They're against The Dark Lord

You can't resist him

I betcha you would

Have done the same!

RODOLPHUS:_PRISONERS_

I met Frank and Alice Longbottom _They had it coming_

in the Ministry a few years ago. _They had it coming_

They were so young and so in love _They only had themselves_

and also had a new baby. _To blame._

They were being watched by The Dark Lord, _They're against The Dark Lord_

Both being aurors in the Ministry. _You can't resist him_

It is a shame they were on the wrong side. _I betcha you would_

The Dark Lord wanted them out of the way. _Have done the same!_

And then I heard him, _They had it coming_

"Rodolphus" he said. _They had it coming_

"I need you to take care of them for me." _They only had themselves_

...Oh, yes, this would be fun. _To blame._

So I tortured them, _They're against The Dark Lord_

you know. Bellatrix and _You can't resist him_

I, we had some good times. _I betcha you would_

We tortured them all night. _Have done the same!_

RODOLPHUS:

You know, some people are better off insane!

LUCIUS, RODOLPHUS, MCNAIR, NARCISSA: _BELLATRIX_ _& __KARKAROFF_

Hah! They had it coming _Saintly, Insane, Thud, Uh-Oh,_

They had it coming _Devotion, Pure-blood!_

You can't deny him

The Dark Lord

He has great power _Saintly, Insane, Thud, Uh-Oh,_

In every hour _Devotion, Pure-blood!_

He's taking over

So get on board!

MCNAIR:_PRISONERS_

Now, I'm not the nicest guy here. _Saintly, Insane,_

The resident executioner, _Thud, Uh-Oh,_

I'm all about my job. _Devotion, Pure-blood!_

Before I just had animals _Saintly, Insane,_

to kill and torture. _Thud, Uh-Oh,_

Now that The Dark Lord returned, _Devotion, Pure-blood!_

I now have people to _Saintly, Insane,_

add to my list of fun. _Thud, Uh-Oh,_

Ah, my ax is my best friend. _Devotion, Pure-blood!_

MCNAIR:

The ax makes a wonderful thud! The ax...a swish and then a thud!

ALL:

They're against The Dark Lord

You can't resist him

I betcha you would have done the same!

KARKAROFF:

It's true, I used to follow the Dark Lord. He owned great power. After his fall, I couldn't be an outcast. I started a school focused on Dark Arts. Krum was my protégé. That fateful night I felt the all too familiar burn of the Dark Mark. I knew I was in trouble, so I ran. Not fast enough...

MCNAIR:

Yeah, but did you like it?

KARKAROFF:

Uh-Oh, not me!

BELLATRIX:_PRISONERS_

My husband, Rodolphus, and I are proud Death Eaters. _They had it coming_

The Dark Lord is my everything, and we _They had it coming_

are his devoted servants. There isn't _They only had_

anything that we wouldn't do for him. He gives us an _Themselves_

order and we perform _To blame._

it to the utmost perfection. _They're against The Dark Lord_

Those many years without him were dark and long. _You can't resist him_

That is called _devotion_, and our faith never waivered. _I betcha_

The prison Azkaban is a terrible place, _You would_

but I still remained focused. _Have done_

When the Dark Lord was reborn, _The same!_

It was the happiest day _They had_

I had ever had so far. _It coming_

We broke out to rejoin our Master _They had_

Lord Voldemort. _It coming..._

BELLATRIX:

Dumbledore and Little Harry Potter had better watch out.

No one can compare to Lord Voldemort. He is coming for Harry.

He has power greater than you could ever dream of. Ever.

PRISONERS:

They had it coming

They had it coming

You can't deny him the Dark Lord

He has great power

In every hour

He's taking over so get on board!

BELLATRIX:_PRISONERS:_

They had it coming

_They had it coming_

They had it coming

_They had it coming_

They had it coming

_You can't deny him_

Voldemort

The Dark Lord

His awesome power

He has great power

Rules everywhere

In every hour

He can't be denied

He's taking over

And we're not wrong!

_So get on board!_

NARCISSA:_PRISONERS_

Pure blood is everything. _They had it coming_

I come from the Black family. _They had it coming_

Our lineage runs pure and true. _They only had_

Some wizards don't believe _Themselves_

in our thought process. _To blame._

Pure blood is the only _They're against The_

True wizard line. _Dark Lord_

Said so by the Dark Lord, _You can't resist him_

it can't be denied. _I betcha_

Why even argue? _You would_

My husband Lucius _Have done_

also knows_The same!_

This is the only way.

NARCISSA:

I am ashamed of some of my family and their Muggle-loving ways.

They'll never learn. No one is safe from Voldemort.

ALL:

The Dark Lord, Lord, Lord, Lord, Lord

The Dark Lord, Lord, Lord, Lord, Lord

LUCIUS, RODOLPHUS, NARCISSA: _BELLATRIX, MCNAIR, & KARKAROFF_:

They had it comin'

They had it comin'

They had it comin'

They had it comin'

They had it comin'

They had it comin'

All along

All along

You can't deny him

You can't deny him

The Dark Lord

The Dark Lord

He's taking over

He's taking over

So get on board!

So get on board!

NARCISSA, MCNAIR, & KARKAROFF:

They had it coming

They had it coming

You can't deny him

The

Dark Lord.

He has great power

In every hour

He's taking

Over

So get

On board!

LUCIUS:

Your days are limited!

RODOLPHUS:

So I tortured them…

MCNAIR:

Swish…thud!

KARKAROFF:

I knew I was in trouble so I ran…

BELLATRIX:

We broke out to rejoin our Master…

NARCISSA:

Pure-blood is the only way.

ALL:

He's taking over so get on board!


	7. Chapter 7: Hogwarts Tango

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Chicago or the Harry Potter characters or the lyrics. They belong to J.K. Rowling and the people that made Chicago. I'm just borrowing them for some fun. Homage to their greatness. No copyright infringement intended.

**Author's Notes**: This is my take on the females of Harry Potter singing about their issues with the boys of Harry Potter (to the tune of "Cell Block Tango"). This puts them in the place of the ladies of the cell-block tango, as if they were the ones who murdered the boys. Just a small AU I thought might be fun. (Italics denote background singing.) This was the second most difficult one to write by far (the first version was the hardest and gave me some inspiration to do this one). I was inspired to do this version from my RP friends. I did my best with it, so hope you all like it. So here it is.

**Hogwarts Tango**

LAVENDER BROWN:

Her.

HERMIONE GRANGER:

Blind.

KATIE BELL:

Jokes.

FLEUR DELACOUR:

Weasley.

GINNY WEASLEY:

Horcruxes.

PANSY PARKINSON:

Pure-blood.

LAVENDER:

Her.

HERMIONE:

Blind.

KATIE:

Jokes.

FLEUR:

Weasley.

GINNY:

Horcruxes.

PANSY:

Pure-blood.

LAVENDER:

Her.

HERMIONE:

Blind.

KATIE:

Jokes.

FLEUR:

Weasley.

GINNY:

Horcruxes.

PANSY:

Pure-blood.

LAVENDER:

Her.

HERMIONE:

Blind.

KATIE:

Jokes.

FLEUR:

Weasley.

GINNY:

Horcruxes.

PANSY:

Pure-blood.

ALL:

They had it coming

They had it coming

They only had themselves to blame.

They just betrayed us

And left us alone

GINNY:

I know that you would have done the same!

LAVENDER:

Her.

HERMIONE:

Blind.

KATIE:

Jokes.

FLEUR:

Weasley.

GINNY:

Horcruxes.

PANSY:

Pure-blood.

LAVENDER:

Her.

HERMIONE:

Blind.

KATIE:

Jokes.

FLEUR:

Weasley.

GINNY:

Horcruxes.

PANSY:

Pure-blood.

ALL:

They had it coming

They had it coming

They only had themselves to blame.

They just betrayed us

And left us alone

GINNY:

I know that you would have done the same!

LAVENDER:

Her.

HERMIONE:

Blind.

KATIE:

Jokes.

FLEUR:

Weasley.

GINNY:

Horcruxes.

PANSY:

Pure-blood.

LAVENDER: _GIRLS_:

You know how people_ They had it coming_

try to hide things they won't admit_ They had it coming_

inside. Like Ron Weasley. _They only had themselves to blame._

Ron says that they are friends.

So, just friends. Her. Well, I_ They just betrayed us_

came into the room and _And left us alone._

they are arguing yet again, and_ I know that you would_

Hermione shoots me a mean glare,_ Have done the same!_

and there's Ron just standing there, _They had it coming_

looking embarrassed and I_ They had it coming_

ask, "So, really just friends?"_They only had themselves to blame._

Her. So, I said to him, "Well, Ron,_ They just betrayed us_

be truthful about her._ And left us alone_

You're more than friends."_ I know that you would_

He denied it! _Have done the same!_

LAVENDER:

So I grabbed the nearest wand and I

cried "Avada Kedavra!"...

...into his chest.

ALL:

They had it coming

They had it coming

They only had themselves to blame.

They just betrayed us

And left us alone

I know that you would

Have done the same!

HERMIONE: _GIRLS_

I met one Ronald Weasley at_ They had it coming_

Hogwarts School about six years ago._ They had it coming_

At first we really didn't like_ They only had themselves_

each other and we always fought. _To blame._

Soon though, all three of us were best friends._ They just betrayed us_

We all were really close, and then I _And left us alone._

realized that I had feelings for him._ I know that you would_

Sure, he was upset over Viktor,_ Have done the same!_

but couldn't he see?_ They had it coming_

I just wanted him._ They had it coming_

He was so blind. Then he had his fling with Lav._ They only had themselves_

...oh, no, he was so blind._ To blame._

He only saw our_ They just betrayed us_

friendship. So one night when_ And left us alone._

he came back, I mixed him_ I know that you would_

a special butterbeer. _Have done the same!_

HERMIONE:

You know, some guys just can't hold their snake venom!

LAVENDER, HERMIONE, KATIE, PANSY:_GINNY_ _& __FLEUR_

Hah! They had it coming _Her, Blind, Jokes, Weasley,_

They had it coming _Horcruxes, Pure-blood._

He left a huge mark

On my soul.

And then he used it _Her, Blind, Jokes, Weasley,_

And he abused it _Horcruxes, Pure-blood._

It was a murder

But not my goal!

KATIE: _GIRLS_

Now, I'm flying for Gryffindor,_ Her, Blind,_

and Fred yells across the field to ask_ Jokes, Weasley,_

if I would go to the ball._ Horcruxes, Pure-blood._

Was her serious? All his jokes _Her, Blind,_

made me wonder if_ Jokes, Weasley,_

He was for real. Didn't I_ Horcruxes, Pure-blood._

deserve to be treated like_ Her, Blind,_

a lady? He never_ Jokes, Weasley,_

stopped playing his jokes on me._ Horcruxes, Pure-blood._

KATIE:

And then crashed into my bludger! He crashed into my bludger TEN TIMES!

ALL:

They just betrayed us

And left us alone

I know that you would have done the same!

FLEUR:

I met Bill Weasley when his family came to see Harry at the Triwizard Tournament. How was I to know we'd fall in love so fast? Except his family. The Weasley family. His mother and Ginny especially disliked me. How would Bill and I ever be together? When he proved more loyal to them...

KATIE:

Yeah, but did you leave him?

FLEUR:

Not my Weasley!

GINNY: _GIRLS_

I've had a crush on Harry Potter since the beginning, _They had it coming_

that day on the Hogwarts Express platform._ They had it coming_

For years he barely noticed me, and I_ They only had_

could hardly speak to him. I finally_ Themselves_

moved on from Harry, and_ To blame._

I started to date other boys._ They just betrayed us_

One fateful day we connected and we kissed._ And left us alone._

I thought we were finally together. After a few _I know that_

months of dating he tells me we have to break up._ You would_

He has to go hunting for_ Have done_

something called a horcrux. Huh?_ The same!_

Horcruxes. No more details._ They had_

Now he wants to protect me._ It coming_

He thinks I will only hinder him._ They had_

Me hinder him? _It coming..._

GINNY:

Well, I don't remember much, because I completely blacked out.

See, I don't know what happened. I went out and... Later, I found my robes all amiss. Now I know he's no longer "The Boy Who Lived".

GIRLS:

They had it coming

They had it coming

He left a huge mark on my soul

And then he used it

And he abused it

It was a murder but not my goal

GINNY: _GIRLS_

They had it coming

_They had it coming_

They had it coming

_They had it coming_

He left a huge mark

He left a huge mark

On my soul

On my soul

And then he used it

And then he used it

And he abused it

And he abused it

It was a murder

It was a murder

But not my goal!

_But not my goal!_

PANSY: _GIRLS_

I love Draco Malfoy _They had it coming_

More than I should probably say._ They had it coming_

He was a real intriguing guy... _They only had_

Slytherin...a pure-blood._ Themselves_

But he was obsessed._ To blame._

He always wanted to_ They just betrayed_

kick out Mudbloods. _Us and_

Pure-blood was his only way._ left us alone_

His mission consumed_ I know that_

him and he never_ You would_

even looked_ Have done_

at me. _The same!_

Too busy cleansing school.

PANSY:

Hogwarts got a cleansing all right. A long cleansing in the prefect bathroom.

At least now he can't say he forgot me, can he?

ALL:

The stupid boys, boys, boys, boys, boys

The stupid boys, boys, boys, boys, boys

LAVENDER, HERMIONE, PANSY: _GINNY, KATIE, & FLEUR_:

They had it coming

They had it coming

They had it coming

_They had it coming_

He left a huge mark

He left a huge mark

On my soul

On my soul

And then he used it

And then he used it

And he abused it

And he abused it

It was a murder

It was a murder

But not my goal!

_But not my goal!_

PANSY, KATIE, & FLEUR:

They had it coming

They had it coming

He left a huge mark

On

My soul.

And then he used it

And he abused it

It was a

Murder

But not

My goal!

LAVENDER:

Oh, really, just friends? With her?

HERMIONE:

He was so blind…

KATIE:

His jokes…

FLEUR:

The Weasley family disliked me…

GINNY:

Now he's no longer "The Boy Who Lived".

PANSY:

Pure-blood is the only way.

ALL:

It was a murder but not my goal!


	8. Chapter 8: Mum Weasley, We’re Big Kids

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Hairspray or the Harry Potter characters. They belong to John Waters, Mark Shaiman, etc. and J.K. Rowling, respectively. I'm just borrowing them for some fun. Homage to their greatness.

**Author's Notes**: More inspiration. After reading Order of the Phoenix yet again and seeing the movie, I got the idea to rewrite "Mama, I'm A Big Girl Now" from Hairspray from the trio's perspective.

**Mum Weasley, We're Big Kids Now**

_Setting: Their reaction, based on Molly not letting the trio have much information after Harry arrives and the recent Order of the Phoenix meeting._

MOLLY

That's enough information!

ARTHUR

Molly calm down!

KINGSLEY

We should let Harry decide for himself.

HARRY, RON, HERMIONE

Please!

MOLLY

No!

HARRY & HERMIONE

Mrs. Weasley!!!!

(RON: Mum!)

MOLLY

Stop!

HARRY

Stop telling Sirius what to do

MOLLY

Don't!

RON

Don't treat us like children of two

MOLLY

No!

HERMIONE

I know that you want what's best…

MOLLY

Please!

HERMIONE

But Mrs. Weasley, please,

TRIO

Give it a rest!!!

ALL

Stop! Don't! No! Please!

Stop! Don't! No! Please!

Stop! Don't! No! Please!

Mum Weasley, we're big kids now!

HERMIONE

Way back when in time when I was just a kid

I never knew of anything that a wizard did

But now my eyes are open to things so please allow

TRIO

'Cause Mum Weasley, we're big kids now!

RON

Once upon a time I just stayed in my room

But now I'd rather fly up on my Quidditch broom

So, if I fall or get hurt, please don't have a cow

TRIO

'Cause Mum Weasley, we're big kids now!

HARRY

Mrs. Weasley, I know that I seem real young

But you don't know what all I've been through

I know you want to protect me but this bell's rung

Voldemort will not stop

And you know that's true, too!

Oh -oh -oh -oh -oh

HERMIONE

We used to be good and

Stay in the castle

RON

But now we've taken a hand

And we don't need the hassle!

HARRY

So say,_Auf Wiedersehen_!

HERMIONE

_Au Revoir_!

RON

_Ciao_!

TRIO

'Cause Mum Weasley, we're big kids now!

ALL

Stop! Don't! No! Please!

Stop! Don't! No! Please!

Stop! Don't! No! Please!

TRIO

Mum Weasley, we're big kids now!

(Hey, mum, say mum)

HERMIONE

Once upon a time I was a know-it-all

Now I'm more friendly and even went to a ball

But let me do my thing, I already know how

TRIO

'Cause Mum Weasley, we're big kids now!

RON

Oh - oh - oh - oh - oh

Once upon a time I used to get joked on

But now I have got people respecting Ron

And now I want that chance to go and take that bow

TRIO

'Cause Mum Weasley, we're big kids now!

TRIO

Mum Weasley, you have taught us

What was right from wrong

And now we iust wanna give it a try

Mum, you know we've been sheltered for far too long

So please just give a push and Mum watch us fly

RON

Watch me fly

TRIO

Hey, Mum, say Mum

HARRY

You know you can't protect us

From everything

RON

Here we have a mission

And now life has meaning

HERMIONE

But please just let me shine

My spells will make you say, "Wow!"

TRIO

'Cause Mum Weasley, we're big kids now!

HARRY

Oh - Oh - Oh

TRIO

Mum Weasley, we're big kids now!

RON

Hey - Hey - Hey

TRIO

Mum Weasley, we're big kids…

RON

Yeah don't you know, big kids!

TRIO

We're big kids now!

ALL

Stop! Don't! No! Please!

Stop! Don't! No! Please!

Stop! Don't! No! Please!

TRIO

Mum Weasley, we're big kids now!


End file.
